As I sit here and write this post my heart is heavy and has been for several weeks. I haven't been posting regular for I have been busy but the true reason I have kept myself busy is because of this one reason, my son, Jon Brandon. His time is getting very close to be deployed out. I have found that if I have something to do then my mind doesn't wander but inside I'm still crumbling. I kept thinking that maybe he wouldn't have to go but the other day I recieve my shirt from his troop that we are to wear to help support him and his troop and that's when it hit , this is for real. Yesterday he pulled out to go to some training and will be gone for awhile. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I don't like saying goodbye, I did text him yesterday and told him that I loved him. Hopefully, I will hear from him today. I have watched this child of mine grow up to be such a caring and mature man. He is full of compasion, love and is a born leader. I know that now his mind is on to defending our country but I do know that inside his heart is the love he has for his family, his little red-headed soon-to-be wife, the love for farming, animals, and the greastest love of all, God. I do know that he loves me, but I can't help but wonder if he knows how much I love him. For now his attention is on to protecting all of us and keeping our country safe, but I know that the minute he gets home, my little solider will be climbing on a tractor just to make another round, or climbing in the saddle to ride for a little solace time.